As much as I like the UK...

Here's another one from Mike Sid. The article can be found at BBC News

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call

Doctors say knives are too pointed
- Isn't that the point (pun intended)?

A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing.
A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase - and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings.

They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.
- So instead of trying to fix the alcohal and drug problem they want to (yet again) screw over the law abiding people.

The research is published in the British Medical Journal.

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all.

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.
- But I'm sure those chefs still have the 'offensive' knives too (until their houses are raided and they are thrown in jail for owning them).

None of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.

The researchers said a short pointed knife may cause a substantial superficial wound if used in an assault - but is unlikely to penetrate to inner organs.
- My understanding was kitchen knives where a tool used for cooking. Now they're classified as weapons?


Kitchen knives can inflict appalling wounds
- So can drunk politicians that drive off bridges...

In contrast, a pointed long blade pierces the body like "cutting into a ripe melon".
- Oh the imagery! A ripe melon getting cut! Ban the damn melons too!

The use of knives is particularly worrying amongst adolescents, say the researchers, reporting that 24% of 16-year-olds have been shown to carry weapons, primarily knives.

The study found links between easy access to domestic knives and violent assault are long established.
- Hey instead of banning them, you could force citizens into a 'Kitchen Club' where they would keep their registered long bladed kitchen knives locked up. They would prepare the food there (under guard of course) and then take the freshly prepared meat/chicken/veggies home to cook.

French laws in the 17th century decreed that the tips of table and street knives be ground smooth.
- Pfft! The French have ALWAYS been pussies.

A century later, forks and blunt-ended table knives were introduced in the UK in an effort to reduce injuries during arguments in public eating houses.

The researchers say legislation to ban the sale of long pointed knives would be a key step in the fight against violent crime.

"The Home Office is looking for ways to reduce knife crime.

"We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure that would have this effect."
- I can't believe that anyone takes this shit seriously!

Government response
- Brr! I just got a chill!

Home Office spokesperson said there were already extensive restrictions in place to control the sale and possession of knives.

"The law already prohibits the possession of offensive weapons in a public place, and the possession of knives in public without good reason or lawful authority, with the exception of a folding pocket knife with a blade not exceeding three inches.

"Offensive weapons are defined as any weapon designed or adapted to cause injury, or intended by the person possessing them to do so.
- Ah... intent! My mechanical pencil can take someone's eye out. So all's someone has to do is try and use it in an offensive manner and it gets banned?

"An individual has to demonstrate that he had good reason to possess a knife, for example for fishing, other sporting purposes or as part of his profession (e.g. a chef) in a public place.
- How about 'I have a knife because I may have the need to cut something'? Not good enough? How about 'You pussies banned all firearms and I'm forced to use a stone age tool to defend myself and my family from the rash of home invasions going on'? What? That'll land me in jail?!? Socialism/Liberalism at it's finest.

"The manufacture, sale and importation of 17 bladed, pointed and other offensive weapons have been banned, in addition to flick knives and gravity knives."

A spokesperson for the Association of Chief Police Officers said: "ACPO supports any move to reduce the number of knife related incidents, however, it is important to consider the practicalities of enforcing such changes."
- Well hell, just do an unannounced spot visit to make sure that mommy is not using a knife that is too big to prepare Daddy and Juniors dinner with! And if she is, arrest her and throw her in jail for a month! That'll show that no good criminal mommy to not mess with a government that is far over extending it's authority.